During my trip to Egypt the guide said we could ride a camel but first we were to go inside Cheops Pyramid, the largest one comprising around two million three hundred thousands blocks each weighing two and a half tons. When inside all I could think of was what if two million blocks come tumbling down on me in twenty seconds?

Outside the guide told us how much to pay the camel driver and how much to tip. But the driver kept pulling at my leg asking for more money. I was too busy pretending I was Lowell Thomas the explorer on my camel and ignored him as I gazed off over the desert. He finally got mad at me “not listening” and dropped the reins and for one mad moment I thought he was going to kick the camel and send the camel and me careening across the desert. As I got off “Coca Cola” both the driver and the camel spat on me. Maybe it was just the camel. I guess he did not like Lowell Thomas. The driver when he found out I was an American had told me my camel’s name was Coca Cola. I later heard him tell a Canadian that the same camel’s name was Canadian Club. The camel’s breath was as bad as mine.

Berlin: we were told that 22 percent of Berlin’s population was over 60 years of age and have 22,221 dogs. Some are not registered (the dogs). They have to pay a tax if the dogs are registered.

At the ostrich farm in Outshorn South Africa I have learned that ostriches have small brains and big hearts. Bigger than mans. I learned that a male ostriches feet turn red when the want to mate. My nose turns red. They do everything by instinct. Ostriches are desert animals with little oil on their feathers. If taken to a wet climate their feathers rot. They have found in an ostrich’s stomach ladies high heels, spark plugs and coins, from which they die of copper poisoning. They will eat anything especially anything shiny. They have little feeling in their bodies. They have cut open an ostrich’s throat to take out an object the ostrich swallowed and the ostrich continued to eat during this process. The female sits on the eggs during the day as she is more camouflaged than the male and the male goes on duty at 4pm and sits on the egg during the night. Ostriches mate for life. I believe swans do too and some humans. They were experimenting with ostrich eyes as transplant for human eyes. I have never heard if this was a success or not.

About the author, Mac: during a century of travel (well 78 years!) both in and out of service I have travelled to over 150 countries (I count both North and South Dakota as countries) and for some reason have jotted signs and happenings that I thought funny at the time. So here is the perfect opportunity to share some of my anecdotes. I can be e-mailed on: macsan400@yahoo.com

Next month: border crossings

Meeting news from our branches around the world.

Globetrotters meeting on 5^th April by Padmassana

Our first speaker Thomas Bourne showed us slides of Chile, Patagonia, Antarctica and South Georgia. Thomas had spent his gap year on board a 55ft ketch as a “Cabin boy”. He started his voyage in Chile, showing us wonderful views of the Chilean lakes, volcano’s and the San Rafael glacier, which is the earth’s furthest glacier from its respective pole. Thomas also showed us the local wildlife including sea lion, dolphins and albatrosses. He sailed south in his boat and called in at Ushaia. This seemed a veritable metropolis after weeks at sea. After rounding Cape Horn and transiting the Drake Passage he headed down to Antarctica, reaching a very impressive 66 degrees and 3 minutes south. We saw pictures of massive tabular icebergs that had weird shapes carved out of them by the elements, though Thomas pointed out that it was the small “bergy bits” that float just under the surface that are a more serious threat to the safety of small craft travelling at 6 Knots. Our final views were of South Georgia, which has been visited by less than 100 yachts. This made Thomas feel that he had been very privileged to have spent 12 months doing this exciting trip.

Our second speaker was one of Padmassana’s favourite travel writers, the intrepid cyclist Anne Mustoe. On this her second visit to the Globetrotters Club, Anne took us from Kathmandu in Nepal to Kandy in Sri Lanka, following the route of the epic Indian Ramayana story. Anne’s journey took her via many of India’s famous sights including The Residency in Lucknow, where 2000 Britons were killed during the Indian mutiny. Anne couldn’t see India without visiting Agra and the stunning Taj Mahal. Anne introduced us to her Agra rickshaw driver on whom she took pity and ended up doing an impromptu shopping expedition around Agra in order that her driver received a 5 Rupee tip from each shop, which went towards the daily hire fee of his vehicle. Anne continued south often staying in less than desirable accommodation, however she occasionally splurged such as when she stayed at the Taj Hotel in Mumbai, where the doormen had the opportunity to “park” her cycle instead of the BMW’s and Mercedes that they were more used to. Anne took a number of British winters to complete this epic trip down India before eventually ending up in Sri Lanka her goal accomplished. Visit Anne’s website for more details www.annemustoe.co.uk

Coming up: Saturday 10th May

Windy Baboulene – The Blue road Windy left school at 16 and travelled the world for 4 years working on cargo ships. The “hilarious and bizarre” true story of his adventures has been published entitled “Blue Road” and is the foundation for his talk. John Harrison – Amazon adventures John has made seven canoeing expeditions to the Amazon, besides travelling lengths of the Niger and rivers in Europe and North America. His expeditions travel without radio or back up, exploring some of the Amazon’s remotest tributaries with the old style “risk-adventure” approach. John has chaired RGS Tropical Rainforest workshops, written “Up the Creek” an Amazonian Adventure, been the subject of a TV documentary “John Harrison Explorer” and has made several programmes for BBC Radio 4.

London meetings are held at The Church of Scotland, Crown Court, behind the Fortune Theatre in Covent Garden at 2.30pm the first Saturday of each month. There is no London meeting in August, but we will be back in September. For more information, you can contact the Globetrotters Info line on +44 (0) 20 8674 6229, or visit the website: www.globetrotters.co.uk

“Ladakh: The last Shangri-la?”

“In the forbidding terrain of the Himalayas, a robust people embellish their frugal lives with rich endowments of faith” (Thomas J. Abercrombie, National Geographic). Experience the beauty of this exotic land through a slide show by Kenneth Axen, PhD, research scientist, graphic artist, and serious amateur photographer.

For details of forthcoming meetings email newyork@globetrotters.co.uk or register for email updates, click here at our website.

New York meetings are held at The Wings Theatre, 154 Christopher Street (btw Greenwich St and Washington St), to the right of Crunch Fitness, in the Archive on the first Saturday of each month at 4 pm.

For information on Ontario meetings, please contact Svatka Hermanek: shermanek@schulich.yorku.ca or Bruce Weber: tel. 416-203-0911 or Paul Webb: tel. 416-694-8259.

Meetings are held on the third Friday of January, March, May, September and November. Usually at the Woodsworth Co-op, Penthouse, 133, Wilton Street in downtown Toronto at 8.00 p.m.