Category Archives: archive

Travel Jokes

Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we’ll try to have them fixed before we arrive.

Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Southwest Airlines. Our seat cushions can be used for flotation and, in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments, as you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses.

Mac Remembers India

MacWe are sorry to say that Mac is not very well, but he is still e-mailing strong and recently sent the Beetle a collection of Mac reminiscences about some of his travels around India in 1992.

One of the joys of travelling for me by rail in India second class air conditioned was that I met so many fellow Indian travellers. There is something about long train rides that people tell you stories they perhaps would not if they thought they would see you again. ï¿Â½The High Sheriff of Calcutta told me of some of his dealings with Nehru. ï¿Â½When Nehru would bring VIPs to Calcutta it was part of the High Sheriffs job to kind of be a tour guide. ï¿Â½He told me that Nehru was a woman chaser and made some amazing conquests. ï¿Â½I don’t know if this is true or the High Sheriff was trying to impress me. One story he told was of a world famous violinist and his wife that Nehru was showing around the horticulture gardens or park. He told the wife that he wanted to show her something and took her with him away from the High Sheriff and the husband. The High Sheriff told me he was furious with Nehru for leaving him to distract the husband. Have you seen this plant Sir etc.

According to him Nehru did a lot for the country but also a lot for Indian women. Maybe he was imitating our President Kennedy and maybe this was all gossip.

Some of the Indians liked to gossip. ï¿Â½Another Indian told me that Nehru and Mountbatten’s wife had something going. More gossip?ï¿Â½ The lady architect that I met when I asked her if she had trouble getting architectural work as a lady architect told me that most of the architectural jobs she got was from family friends.

The Indian Army officer I met on train who later showed me around Agra was a Sikh. There are many Sikhs in the Indian Army. While Sikhs in the Indian Army can wear their turbans, beards etc this Sikh for some reason did not. I don’t know why he was the exception. He told me that those in the Indian Army get more leave than we do. He said this was because some had to travel great distances to get back to their home.

I seemed to be always meeting Indian Military on the trains.ï¿Â½ One asked me what unit I had been in in WWII. ï¿Â½I told him that he probably would not have heard of it as we did not get much publicity and disbanded after the War. So when I did tell him he laughed and said: “Oh in training we studied your mistakes!” I did not know that we were that well known or that we made mistakes. Ha!

One of the reasons I preferred 2nd class air-conditioned to First Class was that I felt it was safer. In First Class, the conductors seemed to disappear and in one case religious pilgrims came aboard without tickets and took over the compartments. It was their country, and I was not going to argue with them. In 2nd Class air conditioned the fellow travellers seemed to kind of look after me. ï¿Â½Kind of adopted me. ï¿Â½And I heard some fascinating stories. ï¿Â½Whether they were true of not, I don’t know, but it made the time go faster.ï¿Â½ I at first did not know that you were suppose to order your meals ahead of time and somewhere down the line at a future train stop they were brought aboard. ï¿Â½I always ordered vegetarian meals as I did not trust the meat. When some Indian travellers found out that I did not know the ropes on this so several ordered for me not letting me know and they did not know others had also ordered so at the next stop coolies came with several trays of meals for me. Ha!

They had a ring on the floor and the Indians carried small chains and padlocks that they attached their luggage to these rings when they were asleep. I was constantly learning from them. I actually got letters from some I met on the train that I received later in the States and one Army Indian Colonel later came to the Pentagon and phoned out here but I did not get the message until it was too late. He was a Lawler and a Sikh and he had made me an honorary Sikh.

If you would like to contact Mac, he is happy to answer e-mails: macsan400@yahoo.com

Channel Tunnel Offer

Channel Tunnel operator Eurotunnel is cutting prices in its latest bid to compete with high speed ferry operators. The latest offer is £100 return tickets for a car and passengers travelling to France until December 31. To get this price, you must travel from the UK to France after 2pm on the day of the outward journey and to return before 2pm on any subsequent day, bookable at least one day in advance. Eurotunnel is facing tough competition from ferries and high speed catamaran services on routes from Dover to northern France. The latest rival is Speedferries.com, which recently launched a low-cost catamaran service offering to carry cars between Dover and Boulogne for £50 return.

Meeting News from Ontario

For information on Ontario meetings, please contact Svatka Hermanek: shermanek@schulich.yorku.ca or Bruce Weber: tel. 416-203-0911 or Paul Webb: tel. 416-694-8259.

Meetings are held on the third Friday of January, March, May, September and November. Usually at the Woodsworth Co-op, Penthouse, 133, Wilton Street in downtown Toronto at 8.00 p.m.

Hem Visits Japan in a Whirlwind

As soon as we got the plane in Tokyo we were off to Narita to see the temples. Did some intense travelling for the next three days in Tokyo including Nikko and Kamakura. Nikko is a wonderful mystical place. The bad news is that I don’t have any pictures of it as it was too misty and, horror of horrors, my camcorder battery was flat – after many years this nightmare came true! -but this only adds magic to the place. I started using the bullet train on a Monday and we have no time to stop and doodle about so we have got to make everyday count, as the seven day pass rounds out on Sunday.

Then went to Hiroshima and visited the peace dome memorial by moonlight after we got into town around 9 pm. Made an early morning start the next day, around 6.30 am and went to Miyajima island which has the floating gate as shown in thousand of pictures as poster of Japan. I wanted to take to Nagasaki, but there was not enough time because there are no bullet trains to get there. We will now go to Kagoshima and check out the volcanoes there. It’s worth knowing that there is free internet access at the Hiroshima international convention peace centre. I have to be in Kyoto by Sunday night when the rail pass runs out.

I adore this place – loos (washrooms) everywhere, spotlessly clean and fast and frequent trains and escalators that simply work. We experienced the rush hour in Tokyo and it is not as half as bad as trying to use the Victoria line in London! Living in London prepares you well for Japan and it is much cheaper too!!!

Now on the island of Shikoku. It is fairly rural and not many tourist come this way. We went to Matsumaya on the West coast and got here to Tokushima on the East coast. This is the place to start if you want to do the 88 sacred temple circuit. We have done the first temple and we will do the remaining at another time to reach Nirvana. Shortly leaving for Kyoto and rail passes expires there. I plan to spend my last day in Osaka, looking for electrical bargains. My travelling companion wants an electrically heated loo seat! I am not up on such hi tech comfort gadgets.

New FCO Travel Warnings

The Foreign Office says it will in future be more selective about issuing travel advice on the risk of terrorism. From now on, people will be warned against travelling only in situations of extreme and imminent danger. The UK government announced that blanket warnings against travel to an area would only be used only when the threat to British citizens looked “acute, large-scale and specific”. The move is likely to be welcomed by foreign governments like Turkey and Kenya who had complained that warnings issued after terrorist attacks had seriously damaging their tourist trade. The Beetle hopes that this applies to Bali, as she has just come back from a wonderful trip, but few UK travel insurance companies will insure trips to Bali because of FCO advice.

Cat Lost in Florida Is Found in California

From a newspaper article spotted by Frank in the US.ï¿Â½ Workers at San Francisco’s Department of Animal Care and Control located the owner of a newly arrived stray cat they couldn’t believe what they found: the cat belonged to a woman in Bradenton, Fla. – 3,000 miles away.ï¿Â½ Florida resident Pamela Edwards had adopted the black, short-haired cat in the summer of 1997, naming it Cheyenne. Just a few months later, Cheyenne disappeared. Edwards hung flyers and ran ads in the local paper to try to locate the cat, but had no luck.

Cheyenne was dropped off at Animal Care and Control after someone found her wandering down a San Francisco street.ï¿Â½ After scanning her for a microchip and finding she had been lost in Florida seven years ago, they wondered if it was a joke.ï¿Â½ Animal Care and Control is trying to find a way to return Cheyenne, who is now 10 years old, to Edwards.ï¿Â½ The agency can’t afford to ship her to Florida, so workers there have been searching for a traveller to carry her on a plane trip.

Martin Wright – On the Road Again.

Back in January 2004 Martin Wright, one the club’s most sociable regulars at the London Meetings, royally entertained a packed Crown Court with tales of his marathon cycle ride to Australia ! Many in that audience will remember his great photos, distinctive narrative style and his thirst for adventure. Well Martin is at it again – this time he’s go back to the land down under to ‘pick up his bike and have a look round’. I think too many cold winter nights provided the motivation to get back on the road ! Anyway this is the first in an occasional series, based on Martin’s emails, and charts his offbeat approach to the road ahead.

6 May 2004 : “Since arriving in Sydney a few weeks ago I have caught up with a few friends and been forced against my will to drink obscene amounts of alcohol. The cycling has been great apart from arriving and leaving any of the big cities. One time a passenger in a car leaned out of the window and pushed me off the road and of course swore at me. Luckily I was travelling slowly so came to no harm. After Canberra I cycled through the snowy mountains passing through Cooma, Jindabyne, Thredbo, over dead horse gap at 1590 metres above sea level, Geehi and Cooryong where I stayed much longer than intended due to there being a festival dedicated to one of Australia’s greatest poets, Banjo Patterson, and particularly his greatest poem, the man from snowy river. Lots of bush poetry was recited, lots of yarns were told, lots of music played. It was a great 3 days rest for me. I cycled on to Melbourne, which took me another 5 days where I caught up with Mark Attwood, another Pom who has left the mother country for better weather. Whilst here we watched Aussie Rules Football at the Telstra dome – Essendon v West Coast Eagles. Great game for a first timer !

Went to the theatre to see a play called, ‘ridiculousness’, which is summed up by its title. Found a pub which sold Guinness then found another pub which did not sell Guinness but had a very lovely barmaid from New Zealand who gave me a few free drinks… Leaving Melbourne I soon got lost only to find my way again, eventually made it to Manangatang where I caught up with the glass jar himself, Phil Matthews. Phil’s cooking has improved and his ability to drink is about the same. Mark Attwood came up for a few days and we visited Chinkapook, a place where I have a history concerning an aboriginal lady in 1984 ! Watched country football at Manangatang after which we drank beer, had a bbq, drank more beer then watched lucky Liverpool beat Man Utd ! What a bloody awful game. From Manangatang to Koorlong where I stayed with Phil’s brother Rob for a few days I spent a few days out at the farm trying to help put up a half kilometre of fencing – the fence looked good and my contribution was to hand out a few tools where needed and collect our lunch boxes ! From Koorlong to Kulwin to Paringa in South Australia to Morgan and on to Burra from where I am having yet another day of rest.”

24 May : “Hello from Ceduna. My bike is starting to get tired so I will have to stay in this god-forsaken town until it has been given a little T.L.C. Shouldn’t take too long ! If you all look at your maps of Australia which you obviously have open in front of you so you can follow my every move you will see Ceduna situated to the west of the Eyre Peninsula. From here over to Perth I will be crossing the Nullabor – I will also be cycling on the longest straight section of road in the world. I think it is about 140kms without even the slightest kink… take a photo to prove it.

The wind was a bastard most of the way around the Eyre Peninsula- it is harder than cycling uphill, as you never get a moments rest ! I met a couple of interesting-eccentric characters on the way round. The first was a travelling vacuum cleaner salesman and the second a Professor from the Sorbonne in Paris – he seemed to have a brilliant mind for most things but when I mentioned the F.A. CUP FINAL taking place in Cardiff on may 22nd he was totally bemused !”

14 June : “Hi all – Rex Hunt here or is it Greg Norman ? Still in sunny, windy & rainy Esperance and loving the rest. Went fishing the other day with the hostel owner and a Japanese chap. It was sunny windy and rainy but it did not stop us catching a few tiddlers. I myself caught three fish; my first ever, and a few were caught by the other two amateurs ! Back at the hostel I learned the art of scaling, gutting and filleting fish. It was then down to cooking and eating everything between us… I left the cooking to Katsuo (the Japanese fellow) I did the washing up but the fish was bloody brilliant.

Yesterday I joined a group of five others for a round of golf in the ‘ESPERANCE BACKPACKERS INVITATIONAL’ at the Pink Lake Golf Club. The criteria for being invited – you had to be bloody useless at golf ! We bought two crates of beer, hired two golf buggies then headed for hole number one. We managed five holes and ten beers each in three hours. For holes one to five my scoring was as follows : hole one par five – 17, hole two par five – 12, hole three par three – 5, hole four par four – 8 and hole five par four – 6. My favourite clubs were a five wood and a putter, with which I hardly ever got the ball off the ground as I zigzagged my way to every hole. The rain and the light put paid to completing the eighteen holes..

This morning I woke up with a headache so decided another rest day was needed… have been the bloody pizza I ate. Will move on from here tomorrow I think and should take about two weeks to reach Perth. I will expect to receive many e-mails – those of you who have not written I think it is about time you did… Enjoy ! PS – Bloody lucky French”

… map of Martin’s progress…

To contact Martin for a chat, a question or to discuss anything he’s talked about on his journey email him on eggodyssey@yahoo.co.uk. After all Martin & his travel adventures are what the club is about and it feels worth supporting him…

Report by:Matt Doughty

San Francisco Virtual Tour

If you’ve ever thought of going to San Francisco and weren’t sure, take a look at this: http://www.virtuar.com/ysf2/ – a virtual tour of San Francisco. It is so real, you almost feel that you’ve been there without the hassle of the journey!

Write for the Globetrotters monthly eNewsletter

If you enjoy writing, enjoy travelling, why not write for the free monthly Globetrotters eNewsletter! The Beetle would love to hear from you: your travel stories, anecdotes, jokes, questions, hints and tips, or your hometown or somewhere of special interest to you. Over 8,000 people currently subscribe to the Globetrotter eNews.

To see your story in cyber print, e-mail the Beetle with your travel experiences, hints and tips or questions up to 750 words, together with a couple of sentences about yourself and a contact e-mail address to Beetle@globetrotters.co.uk

New Terminal for Moscow

Moscow’s Vnukovo airport has launched a new international terminal as part of a $1.3 billion modernization plan.ï¿Â½ Anyone who has passed through Vnukovo airport will agree that it is pretty shabby. “Unfortunately when you visit Moscow’s airports…you feel only ashamed when you see such conditions, all these buildings and the atmosphere,” Moscow Mayor Yuri Luzhkov said at an opening ceremony marked with a 15-minute jet fighter air show.ï¿Â½ The three-story terminal, with modern-looking check-in facilities, electronic arrival boards, cafes and newspaper stands, stretches 25,000 square meters and can handle up to 10 million passengers a year.

Free and Personal Tours

Many cities run free and personal tours. These are usually run by volunteer friends, and not professional tour guides but are local people who are happy to show visitors the usual and unusual aspects of their city. A selection of these tours are as follows:

New York City: www.bigapplegreeter.org www.centralparknyc.org

Chicago: www.chicagogreeter.com

San Francisco: www.sfcityguides.org

Australia: Melbourne: http://www.worldtourism.com.au

Adelaide: http://www.bugaustralia.com/

Japan: http://www.jnto.go.jp

Korea: http://english.tour2korea.com

Jamaica: http://www.visitjamaica.com

Bahamas: www.bahamas.co.uk

Caribbean Storms

Over 2,000 people are believed to have died or disappeared as a result of huge storms and an earthquake on the Caribbean island of Hispaniola. Aid agencies say bad weather is hampering efforts to deliver supplies to the survivors of severe flooding in Haiti and the Dominican Republic. Emergency teams are trying to recover bodies before they contaminate the water supply.

Birdwatching in the Philippines by Christina

On how my first birdwatching trip to Candaba, Pampanga Province, Philippines made my enthusiasm for conservation take flight.

Trudging stealthily on a marshland trail, struggling to keep alert despite it being 5:30 in the morning. With binoculars slung over my neck and a species list on hand, I tried to make as little noise as possible. Is this an episode from National Geographic or a feature on the Discovery Channel? No, but that’s what I felt like on my first bird-watching trip.

It was a cold day in November when I was surprisingly able to coerce two of my friends to pry ourselves out of bed at 3 in the morning to drive down to the Haribon Foundation center. All we knew to prepare for the trip was to wear dark clothing, bring a hat, some food and pay the joining fee. There I met some 20 or so individuals, scientists, bird-watching enthusiasts from here and abroad, and regular clueless folks like me. our brief encounter with an injured bird We got to our destination the Candaba Marsh at dawn, and even before getting off our van, they told us to spot Egrets flying over and into the distance. How majestic they looked! Enormous wing span and quite easy to spot due to their size and number. It was right about there when I was handed a checklist of the different species of birds we could spot in this particular location. My eyes widened as I counted 92 listed there! And I was only expecting maybe 2 or 3 species! I couldn’t believe that we had so many different kinds of birds here in the country! It was also of major interest to me that as one scientist noted, the Philippines has 80 or so endemic species whereas countries like the UK had none. All the more curious, I was to find out how many I’d be able to spot at the end of the day.

My excitement mounted as our scientists Blas Tabaranza and Tim Fisher pointed out to us the lone Purple Heron sitting high atop a sparsely leafed tree, the many Black Winged Stilts, easily identified by their long bright red spindly legs and the daintily colored Blue-Tailed Bee-eater. I was pleasantly educated that even the Chestnut Munia or “Maya”. the local name for the common sparrow, was not the Maya I thought to be. Its head was black and body brown. All in all I was able to jot down 19 kinds of birds that day. I’m quite sure that wasn’t all there were that day since the I wasn’t able to quickly spot everything pointed out to us.

Whereas before I saluted Haribon’s conservation efforts only in theory, to be alongside them was a concrete expression, one that further strengthened my resolve to support the projects and one that I hope would be followed up with many more wonderfully mind-broadening adventures!

Christina Alejandro is a product designer for a chain of gift shops and also a member of the WWF and Haribon Foundation, both environment oriented organizations. She loves travelling and has visited the US, Europe, Australia and some Asian countries. Christina’s website is:

Increase in Membership Fees in the EU

For a while now postage costs to the EU countries have been rising and has now reached the point where they are on a par with the costs for our other members worldwide members (USA, South America and Australia). We feel that it is unfair for one member to subsidise another and have decided to abolish the EU price band.

The new fees will be effective from the 1st June 2004 when the following fees will apply:

  • 1 year subscription £18.00 (around €27)
  • 2 year subscription £34.00 (around €51)
  • 3 year subscription £48.00 (around €72)

Join or RenewHere