We are sorry to say that Mac is not very well, but he is still e-mailing strong and recently sent the Beetle a collection of travel reminiscences.

Scotland. Inch is Gallic for island. Firth is a mouth of a river. Brae is a hill. Haggis is in a shape of a ball but you don't kick it you eat it. It is sheep's intestines and oatmeal wrapped in a sheep's bladder. After you eat it you wish you had kicked it. It was so clear when I was in Edinburgh that I could see to Fife from the Firth of Forth or maybe it was Forth I saw from the Fife of Firth. A Firth is like a fjord only not as far. Anyway it was a clear day.

Many years ago I gave a Scottish lady some tea bags I was carrying in my backpack. The lady had been used to brewing tea in bulk and said Oh how clever they have measured out a spoonful in a container. She then ripped open tea bag and dropped the contents into the pot. (I am sure they probably have tea bags now!)

And let's move on to Irish toasts. An Irish guide toasted us with, “Here's to the best years of my life, spent in the arms of another man's wife, my Mother”. The guide in Dublin Castle told us of a hanging judge. The judge would fall asleep while hearing a case and then all of a sudden wake up, bang his gravel and shout, “Hang the Dog.” A priest at mass in Dublin one morning told this story. He said he was giving a sermon on death and remarked that everyone in the Parish would die some day. One guy had a big smile on his face and when asked why he was smiling replied, “I am not from this parish!”

One of the residents here in the Soldier's home is going to Scotland and England for a month this Fall and another friend of mine here at the home (Saigon) is interested in things Scottish so I am copying stuff down from an interesting article I found in the Travel Section Washington Times. The title of the article is The Enchanting Highlands by Corina Lothar. “Mr Owens arrives in 18th century attire and explains the history of the Scottish Kilt which dates back about 1,000 years and is related to the Roman toga and Indian Sari. He demonstrates how to pleat the eight yards of fabric and tells us that the white cockade in the cap is the symbol of Bonnie Prince Charlie and the Jacobites in the 18th century Battle of Calddean. The sporran, the curious pouch hanging in the front of the kilt originally was used to carry oatmeal (I never knew that) still a staple of Scottish kitchens.

Women too wore long kilts. The warring clansmen carried a targe (shield) with spikes and a dagger in the left hand and a basket-hilted broadsword in the right. Expressions such as “going off half-cocked” and “a flash in the pan” and “sideburns” all come from clan warfare, reflecting the dangers of incorrectly cocked musket and the facial hair worn to protect the cheek from powder burns (so that is where term sideburns comes from. I never knew that. There is so much I don't know!

Kilt pins are a Victorian addition. Queen Victoria who was never easily amused, reviewed one of her Highland regiments on a windy day. Pins were soon ordered to keep the slits in the kilts closed. All of which brings us to this very old joke. A soldier wearing a kilt is asked by a young lass what is worn under the kilt. The soldier replies. “Nothing is worn. Everything is in fine shape.”

There is a Victorian mansion in Scotland built by Jardine Matheson of Hong Kong. Owner of “go-downs” as the Chinese workers first called the warehouses in that formerly British Colony (as in “Go down to collect a bale of hemp.) This is me talking now. When I was in Hong Kong I was told that the expression cumshaw (meaning asking for a tip) came from the Chinese who used to go out and meet the U.S. military ships with small boats to take the sailors ashore in their small boats away from the huge ships that could not get in any closer. They learned to say Come Shore and they would get tips for hauling them ashore. It finally got to sounding like Comshaw or whatever the expression is asking for money.

Ten percent of the whisky lost (in processing) through evaporation is called “the angels share”. Distilleries are open to the public from April through October. “The Royal Scotsman (tourist train) speeds through the wild Scottish countryside on iron, not brine through deep green forests of pine moors that turn purple in August and September when the heather is in bloom.

If you would like to contact Mac, he can be e-mailed on: macsan400@yahoo.com