And from the Pilot during his welcome message: “Delta
Airlines is pleased to have some of the best Flight
Attendants in the industry. Unfortunately, none of them are
on this flight!”.

Heard on Southwest Airlines just after a very hard landing in
Salt Lake City: The Flight Attendant came on the intercom and
said, “That was quite a bump, and I know what y'all are
thinking. I'm here to tell you it wasn't the
Airline's fault, it wasn't the Pilot's fault, it
wasn't the Flight Attendant's fault. It was the
asphalt.”.

Overheard on an American Airlines flight into Amarillo,
Texas, on a particularly windy and bumpy day: During the
final approach, the Captain was really having to fight it.
After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant said,
“Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Amarillo. Please remain in
your seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain
taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate!”.

Another Flight Attendant's comment on a less than perfect
landing. “We ask you to please remain seated as Captain
Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal.”

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