Thanks go to Frank in the US for the following:

At a Budapest zoo: PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. IF YOU HAVE
ANY SUITABLE FOOD, GIVE IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY.

Doctor's office, Rome: SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER
DISEASES. Hotel, Acapulco: THE MANAGER HAS PERSONALLY PASSED ALL THE
WATER SERVED HERE.

Car rental brochure, Tokyo: WHEN PASSENGER OF FOOT HEAVE IN
SIGHT, TOOTLE THE HORN. TRUMPET HIM MELODIOUSLY AT FIRST, BUT IF HE
STILL OBSTACLES YOUR PASSAGE THEN TOOTLE HIM WITH VIGOUR.

Write in and tell us your funny sign! Drop a line to the Beetle!