U. S. Soldiers Home, Washington: during a century of travel (well
78 years!) both in and out of service I have travelled to over 150 countries
(I count both North and South Dakota as countries) and for some reason
have jotted signs and happenings that I thought funny at the time (and
now wonder why). So here is the perfect opportunity to share some of my
anecdotes.

In the Bangkok post office two Scandinavian girls came in with backpacks
the size of a Volvo Auto on their backs. They were wearing dresses and
proceeded to take them off in the middle of post office and stood there
in their panties while they looked in their backpacks for jeans and blouse.
Naturally, I volunteered my help. Patrons were dropping their mail at
the sight of this goings on. You don’t have to go to the strip shows.
You can just go to the Post Office.

Elephant School Chiang Mai, Thailand: Elephants go to school for seven
years and live to be around 80. An American military retired man living
in Chiang Mai, with his Thai wife told me that the elephant’s pregnancy
lasts 2 years and he compared it to a U.S. Senator’s two year term
of office. It is high level, there is lots of noise and it takes two years
to get any results. Someone has asked me what elephants learn in their
school. They learn potty training, basket weaving and how to pick up logs.
I was given some bananas to feed the elephants at the elephant training
school. I gave my elephant one and ate the rest myself. He has never forgotten
this. I rode this elephant for an hour over mountainous hills sometimes
so steep that I feared I might fall off and down he cliff with the elephant
on top of me. The ride costs 480 bahts ($16.00) I kind of got roped into
taking the elephant trip. A Thai girl told me that she and her husband
would get a free ride on the elephant if they got eleven other people
to sign up for the trip. They had just gotten married and the elephant
trip was their honeymoon. (Don’t ask!) Elephants don’t eat
after midday and monks don’t either. However, the elephant I was
on ate everything his trunk could pull up along the road and it was about
1230 noon. Monks smoke but do not touch alcohol. If I understand correctly,
Buddhism does not tell others how to live but it is within oneself to
better yourself, treat others how to live and don’t steal bananas
from elephants.

I met a British retired military that spends his time living in monastery
guest houses in Thailand. He gives them a donation of $80 a month, which
pleases them. He married a Japanese girl while in India (I don’t
know what she was doing there) but she got homesick so left Thailand to
return to Japan. He believes in reincarnation. He thinks it is the only
way to handle the thousands of people that have died before us. He unfortunately
had a stroke while revisiting England but returned here to spend out the
last days of his life. He reads a book a day he rents from library in
Chiang Mai, sees the sites and eats tomatoes.

A lady in a tailor shop (“our materials are the sheapest”)
in Banglampor (the budget hotel section) of Bangkok claimed she knew me
from when I was stationed there and said I should buy a suit from her
for old times sake and the wonderful times we had together. I was never
stationed in Thailand.

Next month, Mac discusses clothing.

If you would like to contact Mac, he can be e-mailed on: macsan400@yahoo.com