During my trip to Egypt the guide said we could ride a camel but first
we were to go inside Cheops Pyramid, the largest one comprising around
two million three hundred thousands blocks each weighing two and a half
tons. When inside all I could think of was what if two million blocks
come tumbling down on me in twenty seconds?

Outside the guide told us how much to pay the camel driver and how much
to tip. But the driver kept pulling at my leg asking for more money.
I was too busy pretending I was Lowell Thomas the explorer on my camel
and ignored him as I gazed off over the desert. He finally got mad at
me “not listening” and dropped the reins and for one mad moment
I thought he was going to kick the camel and send the camel and me careening
across the desert. As I got off “Coca Cola” both the driver
and the camel spat on me. Maybe it was just the camel. I guess he did
not like Lowell Thomas. The driver when he found out I was an American
had told me my camel’s name was Coca Cola. I later heard him tell a Canadian
that the same camel’s name was Canadian Club. The camel’s breath
was as bad as mine.

Berlin: we were told that 22 percent of Berlin’s population was
over 60 years of age and have 22,221 dogs. Some are not registered (the
dogs). They have to pay a tax if the dogs are registered.

At the ostrich farm in Outshorn South Africa I have learned that ostriches
have small brains and big hearts. Bigger than mans. I learned that a
male ostriches feet turn red when the want to mate. My nose turns red.
They do everything by instinct. Ostriches are desert animals with little
oil on their feathers. If taken to a wet climate their feathers rot.
They have found in an ostrich’s stomach ladies high heels, spark
plugs and coins, from which they die of copper poisoning. They will eat
anything especially anything shiny. They have little feeling in their
bodies. They have cut open an ostrich’s throat to take out an object
the ostrich swallowed and the ostrich continued to eat during this process.
The female sits on the eggs during the day as she is more camouflaged
than the male and the male goes on duty at 4pm and sits on the egg during
the night. Ostriches mate for life. I believe swans do too and some
humans. They were experimenting with ostrich eyes as transplant for human
eyes. I have never heard if this was a success or not.

About the author, Mac: during a century of travel (well 78 years!)
both in and out of service I have travelled to over 150 countries (I count
both North and South Dakota as countries) and for some reason have jotted
signs and happenings that I thought funny at the time. So here is the
perfect opportunity to share some of my anecdotes. I can be e-mailed
on: macsan400@yahoo.com

Next month: border crossings