U. S. Soldiers Home Mac: during a century of travel (well 78 years!) both in and out of service I have travelled to over 150 countries (I count both North and South Dakota as countries) and for some reason have jotted signs and happenings that I thought funny at the time (and now wonder why). So here is the perfect opportunity to share some of my anecdotes.

Beijing, China. The Imperial Palace in the Forbidden City in Beijing has 9,000 rooms. We agree that if we got lost and separated from each other we would meet in the Hall of Heavenly Purity (if they would let us in) At the time I was there the military did no wear rank on their uniforms (don’t know if this still applies or not) You could kind of get an idea of who outranked who by the number of pockets they had on their blouse of uniform. Someone with four pockets would have their baggage carried by someone with one pocket or no pockets.

In the hotels the orchestras (In the Peace Hotel in Shanghai I think they had some of the members or orchestra from the 30s) would play songs they thought we would like. Oh Susannah from a couple of decades ago seems to be making a comeback as well as Turkey in the Straw and Auld Lang Sang. At the end of each number the players would put down their instruments and applaud us in the audience. We could hardly wait for the Tuba player to unwind from his Tuba to applaud us. Everyone in our tour group caught colds (from the dust) except those that had taken Vitamin C for a couple of weeks before arriving in China. Mr Wu our guide referred to the Royal Bank of Canada (George from Canada wanted to get some money) as the Loyal Bank of Canada. One of the military said that when he was in China years before he took a piece of the wall and had a name plate put on it and sent it to movie actress Carole Lombard as he had read that she collected rocks. She threw it back. No she wrote and thanked him.

Our Chinese guide in Wuxi kind of had a high opinion of himself (unusual for Chinese) and though he was hip in Western ways. He liked to show off and showed us how he was proficient in Tai Chi (shadow boxing). Blonde vivacious Liza asked him to dance with her. He said No that he could not dance with a client but that he would arm-wrestle her Ha. He told long involved stories about the Kingdom of Wu and Dragons and such. George whispered: I wonder what he would say if we told him we didn’t want to hear any more dragon stories? If I were going to China today I would probably take my own plastic chopsticks. In Japan they have disposable chopsticks but in China they have plastic ones that you hope they wash after several others have used them. If going to China start a walking program at home. Walk around the block then next day further as in China even on escorted tours you are going to be doing more walking than you possibly do at home. Build up you let muscles before leaving home. I put as many Chinese stamps on letters sent home as possible for stamp collectors back home as their stamps are so colourful and unusual. While there their coffee was not very good so taking instant coffee along helped. The hotels had thermos bottle of hot water for tea in your room, which they replenished every morning and this was handy to make coffee with.

Kneehow (phonetic) in Chinese means hello. In China Carol who was from England and had a beautiful voice would sing slightly risqué Cockney songs and George would sing “My old lady and the lady next door went down the river on a barnyard door singing Ki Yi Yippie Yi ” and nonsensical songs. Miss Cha who was trying to learn English (she had taught herself) wanted to learn some of these songs so she could sing them to her next tour group. As some were risqué Carol said. “My dear I don’t think you really need to learn these songs” Les would give his excellent imitation of Peter Sellers imitating an Indian and his accent was hilariously correct. We should have been a USO troop. We laughed all the way across China. If you are in high altitude eating onions will help combat altitude sickness.

Next month, Mac discusses his travels through India. If you would like to contact Mac, he can be e-mailed on: macsan400@yahoo.com